Hedo II & III Trip Reports

	Biff's Bunch

Okay, I admit it. I’m very long winded. I’d prefer to say that my verbosity is prolific, but that would only be proving the point further . So here’s the executive summary for those of you looking for the salient few points. The rooms were fine. The staff was okay. The food was very good. The nude areas were very busy and the prude side, well, we have no idea. The Vinnies were there in number and unfortunately sometimes rude. The improvements were excellent but Hedo spent far too much time on the prude side. We drank too much, ate too much, had an amazing time and absolutely loved every minute of it. We met a bunch of super people and made some very good friends. I can not possibly say this next part strong enough. People make Hedo what it is and we fortunate enough to be with the very best. We’ll be back!

This was our first trip to Hedo. We had previously been to Couples in Ocho Rios before so we had experience with the nude beach thing. However, Couples was, in our experience, far too tame at night. So, we decided to try Hedo II. After being there, I can say with complete confidence that we have found home. We had actually booked back in November so we had plenty of time to think about this one. We went with “Biff’s Bunch”, and I have to say this was about the nicest group of people we ever met. I mean no disrespect to any other group that travels to Hedo or elsewhere. I’m sure they’re all wonderful. But our personal experience with the “Bunch” was nothing short of superb. We were welcomed openly and warmly by everyone.

We had done a lot of research before showing up including reading every “tips” document on the Internet. We read Chris Santilli’s book, “The Naked Truth About Hedonism II”, which by the way made everything much easier to handle upon arrival. We also read Denny’s web site and Biff’s Bunch web site and posted our trip dates ahead of time to chat with some others. If you’re heading to Hedo, by all means, make a few acquaintances ahead of time. It makes it much easier to get into the flow of Hedo if you have friends waiting for you.

We won’t get into travel details except to note that the airports are doing random checks of not only carry on but also checked luggage. After a few tense moments wondering how we’d explain some of our packed items we were on our way. We managed to get to MoBay only about an hour late, a new record by NW standards I think. We met up with some of the Bunch at the TimAir desk and made our way across the airport, a semi-cold Red Stripe in hand.

We got paired up on our TimAir flight with another couple that was going to some other resort in Negril. We introduced ourselves and asked where they were going. They did likewise and when we answered, “Hedo”, that was the last time they talked to us - LOL. Oh well. Our pilot was all business, which seemed odd given the reputation of the TimAir pilots. It turns out that a flight the previous day had encountered gusty winds and ended up crashing, tearing off the wings, the engine and the front wheel. The two passengers on board miraculously escaped with just minor bruising and aches. No wonder our pilot wasn’t fooling around.

We soon found ourselves in the Hedo reception area with about 20+ other people trying to get a room. You’d think that the process of check-in would be a lot simpler than this. We put on our best smiles and sweet-talked every staff member in sight. We still ended up getting bumped to a prude side garden room for one night, which wasn’t the worst thing in the world. We threw the bags in the room and made our way directly for the nude pool area. Five minutes later, we stood at Delroy’s with our 32oz mugs filled.

Saturday becomes something of a blur since its hard getting used to 32oz drinks and it certainly took its toll on me. We met another couple that we had chatted with before getting to Hedo and had a blast. We also ran into a nice couple who were there teaching sexual Tai Chi. That was a lot of fun too.

Speaking of PDA’s (we were, weren’t we?), we were at the pool all of about 10 minutes before seeing a lady being very nice to her gentleman friend. It only got much wilder from there on. There were PDA’s by the pool, the hot tub, the beach, the rafts, and even the disco. There were no sex police anywhere and that was fine for us. Nobody was harming anyone else, they weren’t getting in anyone else’s face and the events were normally short lived, very spur of the moment and playful. So we just sat back and enjoyed the view and contributed as we could. It didn’t take us long to adjust to this and take it all in very matter-of-factly. I guess, if I looked over at the car next to me in traffic on the way to the office and saw a bunch of people having sex now I probably wouldn’t think much of it. Well, maybe not, but I would be willing to test that theory out if there are any volunteers.

The following day, we finally got our ocean view nude room, just a short walk from Delroy’s. The days do run together so we’ll try to hit the high points. Sunday was pool games and lots of lying in the sun. The weather was great all week although it rained briefly Wednesday, Thursday and Friday afternoons. Nothing to wash out the day but enough to give us a much needed break. We played volleyball against the prudes on Sunday afternoon. It was arranged by the EC’s, but most of the prudes left when we showed up. A few hung around and we converted most of them to nude so it ended up being the nudes versus the nudes. We kept meeting all these great people everyday and as the days wore on, we had a very nice core group of people hanging out together. A special thanks to Lucky and Dainty, a couple of excellent EC’s with the right attitude!

Monday, some friends got remarried out on the nude beach point. Lynn and I renewed our vows the following day as did some other new friends of ours. You can have the wedding almost anywhere you want except in the hot tub from what I can gather. We had our reception on the nude beach but most have theirs in Veronica’s. Veronica’s is much better air conditioned than the beach too! I had surprised Lynn by keeping it all a secret until Sunday. I also surprised her with a new ring during the ceremony. The look on her face was certainly worth it. Lorna in the office was a real gem and did so much for us in getting everything arranged! If you’re going to renew your vows, I recommend doing it later in the week after you’ve met lots of new friends. You’ll have a blast.

Maybe the nicest compliment we got all week was from a couple that we met early during our stay. After watching us together for a few days and talking with us, they told us that the two of us got along so well together that our marriage had restored their faith in marriage in general. That’s just not a compliment you expect at Hedo and we really appreciated that a lot!

Hedo is one more example of a place where couples really need to be totally up front with each other. We had very clearly defined rules for the week. I can’t stress enough how important this is at Hedo. We agreed before going that any change to our rules would only be done at 8am in the morning. I can assure you that at 8am, hung over, with the hot sun already making you sweat, you won’t change any rules. We also practiced the rule of staying close together. Whether at Hedo or anywhere else, safety should always be of the highest priority. We were also fortunate to find a really good group of friends who were always looking out for each other.

Monday was also the little black dress party for our group. We held this at Pastafari’s and it was very nicely done. Everyone looked great. We moved from there to the disco. Wow, did we have fun! The drinks in the disco are at least twice as strong as anywhere else at Hedo. Also, the bartenders in the disco seem to have difficulty making even simple drinks. The premixed stuff they do just fine. We were told that the Jamaican Delights were a good drink, especially at the Disco and I would have to agree. You really don’t get a hangover from them. If you want to slow down a little, try some Rum Cream on the rocks, or with a little Amaretto on the bottom.

Tuesday was the PJ party after a long day of fun at the pool again. We really spent most of our time hopping between the pool and the hot tub but not so much the beach. Most of the fun seemed to be going on just North of Delroy’s anyway. We also met Maxine who worked late afternoons at Robert’s Grill. What a super lady! We really miss her sweet smile.

Wednesday was our self-proclaimed easy day so I guess we must have gotten to sleep no later than 4am that day - LOL. Sleep at Hedo is a rare thing indeed. We averaged a bedtime well past 4am and up by 8 or 9am at the latest. Naps are highly recommended. If you are heading to Hedo for the first time, I strongly recommend designating a part of the day as naptime. Don’t worry about what you’re missing. Hedo is a 24-hour party and the best parties occur after midnight so store up those precious minutes of rest so you can go late into the evening.

Thursday we did the catamaran trip to the Pickled Parrot, which was still closed unfortunately. We went swimming there and managed to run into a bunch of these very small jellyfish that got pushed into us by the current. Several of us in the group were sporting some very interesting body art on Friday as a result. We didn’t let it slow us down though and did the Toga night and Veronica’s again. You do fall into a routine, even at Hedo. Ours was to meet up at Veronica’s every night around 11 and close it down before heading to the disco. From there, it varied between the slide, the hot tub, someplace else, or all of the above.

Dave at Veronica’s was a blast and kept us going every night he played. We had several singers in our group who did a great job. I made the mistake of wearing underwear one night, how foolish, so mine are now part of the batch currently sitting in the fish tank at Veronica’s.

Friday I just flat ran out of energy. Since it was my birthday on Saturday, the group was certainly trying to help me celebrate but I was just out of energy. Aside from the week long party, taking Benadryl all day to ward off the jellyfish reaction gave me an equally weird reaction. Next year, I avoid the jellyfish by staying much closer to the bar and party one extra day!

Saturday, our newfound friends all got up early to see us off. It meant a lot to us to have everyone out there to say goodbye when we knew just how tired they truly were. Lynn was tearing up pretty good as we walked out the lobby at Hedo and into the taxi to go back to the Negril airport. Our friends provided a very interesting view out on moon hill though and that cleared up a lot of tears and put smiles back on our faces that lasted all the way home.

At the Montego Bay airport, they were opening every piece of checked luggage from every passenger. This made for a little embarrassment but after a week at Hedo, we weathered this “no problem mon”. What we started wondering is how the people we met with the Sybian ever got it through luggage check!

Some general observations: The Vinnie’s were really bad in the disco. You could tell the ones who had come expecting to be provided with human sex toys. A simple word to all single guys. If you’re coming to Hedo to get lucky, forget it. I mean no disrespect by saying that, just being honest. It doesn’t matter if you’re Tom Cruise; the odds are very strongly against any single guy getting lucky. Also, I don’t expect the real Vinnie’s to read any of these trip reports but I’ll say it anyway, Chris Santilli is right, not only does no mean no, but unless a lady has already said yes, its as good as a no. Keep your hands to yourself. I would rate the disco as one of the top three areas that should be patrolled by security and it almost never was. Of all the unwanted touching that occurred, the majority of it took place at the disco and right at the bar.

Our chief complaint of the resort is that the common bathroom areas around Hedo need major cleaning help. The ladies described their bathroom outside of Veronica’s as “gross”. Some refused to use it and used the men’s room instead. The same issue occurred night after night. I can also say that the bathroom down by the nude hot tub was no bargain either.

Many on the staff were just super all week. Maxine was wonderful and really made an impression on us. Our maid was excellent as well. Delroy and Scumba did an okay job given a very heavy workload. Some others seemed to be put off by any request. We waited a day for the room we paid for but the waitress that we had at Munahana’s Sunday treated us poorly because we arrived late for dinner. I guess the term “soon come mon” is reserved for staff use only. Other than that, we walked away generally happy with the staff.

Now, on to the really good points, and there were tons of those. We loved the grilled cheese at Roberts. The food in general was excellent. We really loved it. I know people complain about the main dinning area but we had no trouble finding something good to eat everyday. I gained five pounds in seven days. Munahana’s really has the same stuff every night but we ate there twice and liked the food just as much the second time as the first. Partafari’s was very good too. Just don’t eat the hot dogs in Jamaica, yikes! The midnight buffet does need some help though. The sub sandwiches are pretty dicey, at best.

The room we had was fine. It was very clean and the staff does an outstanding job of making up the rooms even though everyone in the place has a different schedule. Yes, the water was all over the temperature gradient from one moment to the next. Actually, I surmise this is a problem with the valves they use for the showers and has nothing to do with varying pressure. To test out my theory, try running a bath one day and see if the water coming out the faucet is consistent. It was for us. If you’re really in a bind, just pull the water jug off the bathroom counter and hold it up to the showerhead. In the amount of time it takes to fill it up, the water temperature all averages out and you can dump it over your self. It sounds silly but it worked like a champ for me.

The air conditioning in our room was a little weak. We left it on high all week and never once turned it down. Our room was never too cool. A hint to keep your room cool is to keep the bathroom door closed at all times. The vents in the bathroom let a lot of high air in.

Maybe the only complaint I had with our room was that the mirror above our bed seemed to make me look too fat. Yes, my wife looked great in it but somehow I always looked like something other than the Roman sun god that I imagine I should be - LMAO.

The nude pool was fine all week albeit a touch cloudy. When you consider the amount of sun tan lotion that gets into that pool every day, they do a heck of a job keeping things clean. The hot tub temperature varied day to day but overall we were fine with it. The drinks were cold and there were plenty of chairs around at the beach. I think the nude side was completely full when we were there. The prude side looked to be about 10% full if the beach occupancy ratio is any indication.

My recommendation to newbies is to go to the nude side right away and just start the week off right. Nobody, and I mean nobody, is looking at you unless you wear clothes. Don’t be overwhelmed by the party going on either. We saw one couple come by, take one look at the hot tub, and leave, and the hot tub was as calm as I had seen it all week. The mistake some people make is assuming that because everyone is having a great time that somehow we all know each other. We do and we don’t. We’re all just having fun and talking about whatever. One more person in the pool or hot tub is always a good thing, no matter who you are.

The best time for a newbie to hit the nude pool area is first thing in the morning. It’s virtually empty since they “clean” the water around 8am or 9am everyday. You can get a good spot and settle in without having to feel like you’re being watched. The beach area is more impersonal and may be easier for first timers at almost any time of the day. So be brave, and then enjoy the finest and friendliest people you’ll ever meet in your life. After the first hour, you’ll never want to put clothes on again.

It is very true that the second hardest thing to do at Hedo is to take your clothes off. The hardest thing is putting them back on. A case in point on that subject. On our way home from Hedo, my wife came out of the Memphis airport bathroom laughing. When I asked her what was up, she said that after a week at Hedo, she nearly forgot that she was wearing panties again and narrowly missed a very embarrassing situation!

The pools over by the prude side were fabulous. Very good temperature and very clean. I guess, when no one uses them they stay pretty clean. We took over the prude pool one afternoon. There were exactly zero people at the pool when we got there so no one seemed to care. They even served us at the main bar, nude of course.

The water slide is a blast. We loved it. The nudes were frequently over there, in daylight or at night. The fastest speed seems to be achieved by going nude and laying with your feet and head raised slightly off the surface. I got one run going where I thought I was going to fly right out of the tube. Big fun!

We brought our own beach towels, which by the way I highly recommend. Towels were rarely ready before 10am and were frequently gone by noon, if not by 10:01am. We brought inflatable rafts but never used them. We left them in the closet for the next couple. There were plenty of rafts available on the beach.

The absolute best part about Hedo is the people. With my lovely wife in tow we just went up and introduced ourselves to everyone we saw, whether they were a part of our group or not. At one point, one of our new friends asked us how we knew so many people at Hedo, given that this was our first time. At Hedo, you can make 100 new friends every day. You just have to introduce yourself and take an honest interest in people to do so. We left Hedo with several life long friends that we didn’t know the week before. That kind of opportunity rarely presents itself in your hometown in one year, let alone one week.

We’d like to sincerely thank all the wonderful people that made our trip so special. We’d like to thank everyone at Biff’s Bunch again for the wonderful times. To the group of really good friends that we made at Hedo, and you guys know who you are, we really appreciate everything! Words can not describe the fun we had and if we live to be 100, we’ll never forget our first week at Hedo with you all. We only wish we could relive that week 52 times a year. You guys are truly the best!!

Pat and Lynn